oy vey.
im so lucky. i really really am. i wish i had never said anything about my life coming crashing down... cause i really am lucky. theres an update coming so feel free to skip over this... i just need to say it somewhere. i still cant believe its real.

so... it started off when my mom took my phone away. its nothing unusual honestly.. but when she does everyone else just calls my house. even my EX boyfriend called my house (and my parents hate him) to see if i was ok cause i wasnt answering my phone. but... i kinda overreacted when my boyfriend didnt call me for like 4 days when i didnt have my phone. cause i wasnt sure if he was too busy to actually have a conversation with me and not just text me when he could find time or-this was my dads idea haha- it was one of those dont-wanna-talk-to-the-parents situations. and his mom called my house to talk to my mom to see if she wanted tickets to something haha so i knew he could find my number somewhere. so... i was overreacting and overanalyzing the situation thinking he didnt really wanna talk to me... and i talked to him online last night even after i got my phone back and was kinda giving him the cold shoulder. then my friend told him i had my phone back. so apparently (or so he says) HE started to overanalyze the situation and he thought i was gonna like break up with him hahaha hes so weird like that sometimes. so... then we ended up having an extremely open heart-to-heart conversation about everything and he was so funny... like it was cute how worried he was that i was gonna break up with him hahaha. umm so yeah then after that we still ended up talking until two this morning, while we both wake up at five for school, about everything. like we talked about so many things, all about us or our relationship in some way, and.... wow. like... he was so cute. like it was wicked funny cause ive never known a guy to admit that he felt the way he did. like... we were friends and we both ended up saying how we started to like each other. then it was funny cause he was like "yeah i honestly never thought you'd go out with me" so then i asked why and he said "i dont know you just seemed to out of my league" so then i was like....?? why? and he said "because your just so beautiful." which was kinda cute even though he coulda been lying but still. and... yeah idk he just stayed up and talked with me forever and i honestly feel like it was a turning point... well not really. but it kinda made us a little stronger. and i know its kinda ridiculous... and ive never had a boyfriend who acted like he did... but idk. still. like i dont even care that i have to go hang out with an icky ex tonight at a band thing (the fuck face mexican as my friends call him hahaha) hmmm so i feel incredibly lucky and i just HAD to get it out somewhere.

and i think my projects failing i havent gotten many requests ='[

but anyways heres the update


Love is like a job.
Once you have your experience,
you will learn how to work it out.
If you get fired, you find another one
& you learn to move on.

Maybe I can’t be just friends with you

NEVER DRINK DIET SODA.
It shows you have no nerve. Only
drink real colas, caffeine-packed energy
drinks, or Vitamin Water. Hate champagne,
because that's what everyone expects you
to love. Energy drinks are the best party
drinks. You never get tired. You never
have a hangover. And you can make fun of
all the loaded people who think they're clever
but are really acting stupid." ---Paris Hilton *

we’re still so young; so desperate for attention

we should be more than we are

All girls are suspicious of girls that are "just friends."
 because we know the guys we've had that were "just friends"
and we always wanted more

every girl has something special about them .
- joe jonas

ask anyone and they’ll tell you how happy i’ve been lately.
i haven’t felt this amazing in a very long time.
a lot of this has to do with you walking into my life.

you fall in love with the most unexpected people
at the most unexpected times

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.
 No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.
 The gift is yours: it is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.
 This is the day your life begins

ou are every reason, every hope and every dream that I've ever had. And no matter what happens to us in the future,
Every day spent with you was the best day of my life.
- The Notebook ; Nicholas Sparks -

Sooner or later we'll be looking back on everything,
and we'll laugh like we knew what was happening all along.
and someday,we might listen to what people have tosay.
but for now, we'll make it by learning the hard way

its the things that you wanted to say and couldn't
it's the feelings you wanted to stay, but they didn't
its all the lies they told you that you swallowed whole
this is the price for loss of control
-lauren kaye

dusk, i realized then, is just an illusion. because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. and that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. always together yet forever apart.
-- the notebook

We’re living on borrowed time,
And if you don't put your heart
 Out there on the line,
You were never really living at all.

In three words I can sum up what I have learned in life:
It goes on.
- Robert Frost -

i have no idea what you just said...
but you looked cute saying it.
- Return to Halloweentown

you know you really care about someone when you don't hate them for breaking your heart.

football is a poor excuse for boys to touch each other in inappropriate places ;]

Just because today is a horrible day doesn't mean that tomorrow might not be the best day of your entire life.
-Pete Wentz

don't ever let a boy build you up with his words, cause the higher you are,
the harder you fall, and trust me, you always fall.

I looked out the car window today
and i'm realizing that i miss you again,
it's funny how out of nowhere you came to mind,
the truth is, i wish you were still here.

I'm just another silly teenager who keeps her jeans too low and her hopes too high, who lives off quotes and can never seem to say the right thing and the right time. Just another pretty girl, looking for herself in this big bad world, and just wants someone to love her, and then everything would be okay --- I'm just trying to figure it out

True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there
when it’s not.

Once in a lifetime means
there's no second chances.

Just knowing that he's there for me makes me feel like I have everything that I need in my life.

mine

when i’m with you...
even if it’s only for a few minutes...
it’s always the best part of my entire day

Memories of you, and the words you spoke, cut deeper than any knife.

i always write letters to you. or just look out my window talking to myself, pretending your there.
and the words are exactly how i feel. thats what i want to say.
but youll never get to hear them, because you never really cared.
i wish i had the guts to say, "maybe youll love me too someday"

remember when
we used to live for the moments we spent together?
we thought every moment not together was a minute wasted?
the only time we wouldnt be talking or texting on our phones was when we were with each other?
the first time i ran up your texting bill or all the times you sent me over my minutes?
we sat on freezing bleachers at football games, trying to play music, wasting our friday nights away... just to be together?
we got in trouble for skipping band to be together?
or when we tried something new to both of us... something so scary and new...
remember when it was worth the risk?
do you remember when...
it was so long ago.
we were just two kids...
two kids who saw the stars in each other's eyes.
two kids who couldnt exist alone.
two kids... who really loved each other.
do you remember when?

it's not that you're not great... because you are. you just... you don't make me smile in a special way. you don't open my eyes, and you're not my whole world. your eyes just don't sparkle to me, and your smile just cant brighten my day in that special way. its not that you're not great... you're just not my star. you're just not him.

i think the reason i cant get enough of you... is because my heart sings a song that only you can hear. and you help me remember when i've lost the tune.

ehh its not my best ever. but still comment i spose.

They'll name a city after us and later say it's all our fault.

you're just jealous because we're young and in love.

He's the only person I want to be with. I love his stupid jokes and how he can change my entire day just by giving me a hug. He can always make me laugh, and he's by my side through everything that goes wrong.

Before you, I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason at all.

You aren’t the only reason i smile... but you sure are my favorite

I'm ready to be the girl I used to be.
The one who never cried,
never got mad about dumb things
&& the one girl who would never
worry about being in love.

to tell you the truth,
i still wonder how it ended up this way

people walk in and out of our lives
but the only ones that matter are
the ones that are still here with you today

I don't know. When I'm with you, I just;
I never know what will happen next.
It's weird; because my life is so planned out.
It's like you don't care what people think, and
When I'm with you, I don't care either.

you can't describe the feeling to anyone..
not even your best friends. because the rush
that you get around him is more than
anyone could ever explain.

and its been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep.
but time has changed nothing at all. you're still the
only one that feels like home. i've tried cutting the
ropes. tried letting you go. but you're still
the only one that feels like home.
- Ten Days ; Missy Higgins

For the amount of pain you've suffered
you will get the equal amount of happiness in return

when men attempt bold gestures, generally, it's considered romantic. when women do it, it's often considered desperate or psychotic.
- sex & the city -

wherever you go, go with all your heart
- Confucius -

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon. but that we wait so long for it to begin.
- Anonymous -

you fail to recognize it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
- J. K. Rowling -

maybe it's not about the happy ending.
maybe it's about what you do
with your time before you get to the end.

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be alseep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.

Distance is not for the fearful. It's for the bold, for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exhange for alittle time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it even if they don't see it nearly enough

today is a gift. thats why they call it the present..

We talk like we know what's going on, but we don't.
We don't know anything. We're young,
and we're gonna screw up a lot.
We keep changing our minds, and sometimes, our hearts.
And through all that, the only real thing
we can offer each other is forgiveness.

I wanted to kiss him. But of course, I didn't.
I wonder why I resisted when in the past, I had always
followed me impulse with not much thought of the consequences.
Maybe because it didn't feel like a game with him,
the way it had with so many others before.
Maybe because I had more to lose this time.

sure, she's pretty, but it's about more than that. you two connect. anything you throw at her, she can throw right back. you figured out what's going on in that predictable head of hers in under five minutes, but something tells you her heart would take about five years.

i'll spend an extra hour in the bathroom
making sure my makeups perfect
my hair isn't sticking up
&+ my clothes are hot
but I doubt you'll ever notice

everything has beauty.
sometimes... you just have to look a little harder.

it was always your smile that got me through the day

if you dont risk everything... you risking so much more.

the world might be gone tomorrow, but we're here tonight.

humor me... say that you love me.

please, perfection is so last season.

ill update again later today but im running off to community service for confirmation...
but there will be more updates later, since my life is coming crashing down again... which is good for the sake of this site haha. thats why i agree with charlie brown... the happier i get... the harder i fall back down. and its only been a few hours of this and i already cant stand it. oh well. tell me what you think of these ones i guess...